


I'll carry a torch (for you)

by Bill_Longbow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - No Powers, And some monsters, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, I've nicked their classes, Lightly based on the Torchlight games, M/M, Meet-Cute, and animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-15 01:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15401949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow
Summary: “Look, I’m sorry I hit you, but it was an honest mistake! It’s not my fault you choose to wander around this undead infested dungeon without so much as a torch.”





	I'll carry a torch (for you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dapperanachronism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperanachronism/gifts).



> A gift for the lovely Dap, happy birthday, sweetie!
> 
> Prompt comes from this awesome [prompt generator](http://colormayfade.tumblr.com/generator), and doubles as the summary.
> 
> Thank you to [ Athletiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/athletiger/pseuds/athletiger) for betaing!

“Look, I’m sorry I hit you, but it was an honest mistake! It’s not my fault you choose to wander around this undead infested dungeon without so much as a torch.” Tony wearily eyes the behemoth of a man who has just run into his wrench. It wouldn’t be the first time a so called friendly turned out to be, well, unfriendly.

 

“Got good eyesight,” the giant mutters while rubbing his forehead where Tony hit him full force.

 

The man looks like a proper adventurer. Elaborate armour, huge double-handed battle axe, a stag carrying his loot. Handsome fellow too, from what Tony can see under the huge horned helmet. He sighs, he doesn’t have time to go around chatting up random crypt crawlers, most are loonies anyway, but he can’t stand people being hurt. “Are you okay?” He takes a step forward and dials up his chest light which he invented himself so he could wield a weapon, throw grenades, and still be able to see. Unlike Conan over here. The man doesn’t seem to be too damaged, though he’ll probably have a nice shiner tomorrow.

 

“It’s not about the eye sight, I wouldn’t have hit you if you were carrying a torch. Undead don’t carry torches, see?”

 

The giant stops massaging his head to glare at Tony. “I’m a shadow berserker, I operate from the shadows.”

 

“Honey, you’re as subtle as a neon sign shouting ‘Hit your crypt crawler here’,” Tony scoffs. In addition to the rather conspicuous helmet he’s wearing a dragon’s skull on one of his shoulders, and a huge unnecessary chain in front of his chest. The rest of the armour is padded with fur at least.

 

“Snuck up on you, though, didn’t I?” The man grins rather pleased with himself and Tony rolls his eyes.

 

“Whatever.” He puts his wrench on his back and whistles for Dum-E to stop chasing the rats and follow him. When the cat comes trotting up he immediately starts rubbing himself on the barbarian’s legs, meowing pitifully.

 

“Dum-E, no harassing brutes, we've been over this,” Tony calls to him, but he's ignored by both cat and man. The barbarian is bent over to scratch Dum-E’s ears, cooing at him with the cat playing up his sad act.

 

Tony throws up his arms in exasperation and stalks away. This crypt search is _not_ going like he hoped it would (run in, clobber undead, get the goods). Instead he was first accosted by a strange fellow in the swamp who wanted Tony to help him find this bow that would bring him back to his cursed loved one. And because Tony is weak hearted and can't stand a sob story, he had spent hours searching for the right hollow tree the bow supposedly was in, and subsequently with vanquishing the spider horde that had taken up residence in it, bringing upon himself the wrath of the spider queen, a pretty redhead if it wasn't for her giant arachnid body. She turned out to be the long lost lover so it ended on a happy note. He didn’t take up on their offer of dinner though, he still feels itchy all over his body. He _hates_ spiders.

 

After the spiderlady incident, he stumbled across a large man in a cape who was prodding at rocks whilst crying pitifully. Turned out he had lost his brother and tried to find him again. Tony might be weak hearted, but there were limits, and he left crazy cape man to it, only to be jumped at by a snake with a knife a mile down the road. The snake had apologised profusely after he realised he had attacked the wrong person, something about the sun on Tony's armour blinding him. They shared a flask of mead together to show there wasn't bad blood, and slightly intoxicated he went on his way, finally reaching the crypt.

  


He stomps down a random corridor but doesn’t get far before Hulking Blond follows with both pets in tow. “Seems we’re both going in the same direction, huh?” He smiles at Tony with perfect white teeth. Not that Tony notices these things, he’s annoyed with the man after all. That’s also why his attention has not been drawn to the perfect muscled ass that’s hidden in the skin tight leather breeches, nor have his eyes wandered over the bulging muscles of the blond’s arms.

 

“Name’s Steve.” The man holds out his hand to shake and Tony does so with a frown.

 

“Tony,” he answers as he continues in a brisk pace, hoping to get the message across he isn’t interested in things like _companions_ and _small talk_. It doesn’t really work. The barbarian, Steve, walks amicably beside him. Dum-E, the traitor, sits perched high on the stag’s back, looking like a conquering battle lord on his mighty steed.

 

“So,” Steve draws out the syllable, annoying Tony to no end. “What's an engineer like yourself doing in a crypt like this?”

 

At that moment a small horde of zombies trundles around the corner and Steve moves faster than anyone Tony has ever seen before. Before he can blink, Steve has whipped out his axe and has decapitated no less than five and broken the legs of two others. He wields the two-handed axe with just one hand and holds a large round shield in the other.

 

Tony throws a shock grenade which stuns a group of zombies headed his way. “Are you hitting on me?” he yells over the clamour and grunts as he smashes in the head of one particularly disgusting zombie with his wrench, narrowly avoiding getting bitten by one of the fast ones. Dum-E jumps on its back and tears the shoulder tendon and Tony finishes it off with a mighty swipe.

 

“Maybe?” Steve answers, still moving insanely fast. He leaves a carpet of dead undead behind him as he cuts, bashes, kicks and twirls his way through the horde. “Is it working?”

 

Tony deploys a healing bot, just to be safe. He's not in any way charmed by the berserker, _at all_ , shut up brain, but that doesn't mean he can't be concerned about his health. It doesn't seem necessary as the zombies never once touch him, he simply moves too fast.

 

“Little too busy for flirting here,” he grunts as a wave of felwalkers comes from the other side. He wants to assemble his sledgebot, but he doesn't have time to do so, since he already used the last of his shock grenades. He startles badly when a pack of astral wolves suddenly comes loping from behind and tears viciously into the undead ranks. It gives him time to assemble his bot, who soon joins the wolves and pounds the felwalkers into pulp. After that it's just mopping up the stragglers and searching the bodies for loot.

 

Steve and Tony split it evenly and send their companions out to sell it, Dum-E once again on Bucky’s back. (“Bucky the stag, really, Steven?”)

 

“Didn't hear you say no,” Steve states with a bright smile as they find the stairs to a deeper level.

 

Tony looks him up and down. Mowing through a pack of zombies like they were grass stalks has only left the man a bit sweaty; he doesn't seem to be hit even once. Having someone like him at his side would make Tony's life a lot easier the following hour or so.

 

“Tell you what, if we get out of this hellhole _with_ the artefact I'm looking for I'll consider it.”

 

Steve does an honest to God fistpump (which isn't adorable, it just isn't) and gives him a smile that's brighter than the sun. “You won't regret it, Tony! I know this little place at the edge of the swamp where they serve the best burgers you'll ever taste.”

 

“Big claim there, big guy.” They've reached the landing and Tony looks around the corner of the gate to see if anything lies in wait.

 

“You know what they say about big men,” Steve smirks and Tony will forever deny he flushes at the statement.

 

“That they compensate with their big head for something small?” He darts across the threshold and leaves Steve's laughter behind. He carefully makes his way across the dark cavern, a huge dark space in which his chestlight is but like a little candle flame. He does not like this place one bit. Countless of horrors could be biding their time to jump them.

 

Steve doesn’t seem to have such concerns, strolling up alongside Tony like it’s a picnic and casually decapitating a lone zombie. “What is it you’re after, anyway?” he asks as he inspects the blade of his axe and puts it on his back again.

 

Tony stops in his tracks to squint at Steve. There you have it: he’s after the same artefact and is using Tony to get it for him. “Why?”

 

Steve stops and turns around to face Tony. “So I can help you find it, of course! You promised me a date if we did.”

 

“I said I’d consider it,” Tony huffs and wants to make a snide remark, but the telltale sound of goblins reaches him and he pulls his wrench from his back. Steve already has his axe in hand and together they decimate the goblins in no time. When the last one stops twitching Steve squeezes Tony’s shoulder. “You’re a skilled fighter, engineer, we make a good team!”

 

Tony shrugs but is secretly having more fun than he’s had in ages. “You’re not too bad yourself,” he amends, and is rewarded by that huge perfect smile again.

 

Together they make short work of everything the crypt throws at them. Goblins, zombies, skeletons, bleak spirits, cursed swords, they all quickly fall to their combined forces. Even the dragon that guards the treasure is no match for the two of them working together. In between it all Steve keeps up his awkward flirting and Tony’s resistance is melting. When the final beast is slain they’re both covered in blood and sweat, panting heavily, but grinning happily at each other.

 

“You know what I could go for right now?” Tony asks as he wipes the sweat from his brow.

 

Steve shakes his head, leaning on his axe while he catches his breath.

 

“A burger.”

 

Steve’s answering smile is almost more of a reward than the loot.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcome!
> 
> Come give me a prompt on [Tumblr](http://bill-longbow.tumblr.com) or join us on the [ Stuckony discord server ](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) for all things Tony, Bucky and Steve!


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